Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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