i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
