i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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