at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
