Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Randomize
