i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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