i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
As shirtless as possible
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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