Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
