you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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