ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
