so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
