Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
