you have to choose: penises or morals?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
