Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
