My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
