i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
