chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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