and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
