can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
