Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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