I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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