Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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