THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
