If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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