my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
