I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
