nut hugger
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
