What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
