I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
