I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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