Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
