what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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