my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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