I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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