my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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