Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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