i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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