You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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