I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
