it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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