Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
