somebody snuck up and got me drunk
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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