my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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