the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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