My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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