All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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