I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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