you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
