"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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