So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
