Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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